Episode 04: Moving on

This is the chapter that started the whole project. I am a nanny, interviewing nannies, about nannying– to share our stories with a  broader audience, but also to heal. I first began to conceive of this project following an abrupt ending to a job that had left me heartbroken. The end had been sudden and I felt powerless. The grief was almost unbearable. I was in my early 20’s at the time and as I looked around at all the nannies on the playground in their 50s and 60s I wondered. / How do you do it, - how do you keep saying goodbye like this again and again. At first  I was  afraid to talk about it with other nannies. I thought maybe there was something wrong with me, that I was unprofessional, for getting too close. I buried my grief for many years. When I interviews interviews for this project and i had the chance to ask the nannies about leaving on the record, I learned that my experience was not uncommon.  I  also learned that there are many ways to leave. Some endings involve hugs and goodbye parties; and some endings can be dehumanizing and  traumatic. It’s never easy, but you do heal. From what I heard, and what I know,  it’s almost always worth it.